Clinton Terry Milam

This memorial website was created to remember our precious Clint who was born on April 7, 1993 and died on August 5, 2003 at the age of 10. 

 Clint's 15th Anniversary, August 5th, 2018




Undo it, take it back,
make every day like the previous one
until I am returned to the day
before the one that made you gone.
Or set me on an airplane traveling west,
crossing the date line again and again,
losing this day, then that,
until the day of loss still lies ahead,
and YOU are here instead of sorrow.

     Nessa Rapoport




April 7, 2014 ~ 21 years




If I had a flower for every time I thought of you...
I could walk through my garden forever.
Alfred Tennyson






Rememberance, like a candle, burns brigthest at Christmas.

- Charles Dickens






THANKSGIVING 2013 


 

Clint, we will love you every minute of every day for the rest of our lives.

10th Anniversary ~ August 5, 2013



 

Why does the sun go shining, why does the sea rush to shore.......

Don't they know?

 What restraint or limit should there be to grief for one so dear?
~Horace 

"And if I go,
while you are still here,
know that I live on,
vibrating to a different measure,
behind a thin veil
you cannot see through.
You will not see me
so you must have faith.
I can't wait for the time
when we can soar together again,
both aware of each other.
Until then,
live your life to the fullest
and when you need me,
just whisper my name in your heart.....
I will be there."

~ Emily Dickenson

                             Beloved son of Terry and Susan

                        Precious brother of Amy and Melinda 

If I Had Known

    If I had known it would be the last time that I'd see you fall asleep,
    I would have tucked you in more tightly and prayed to the Lord, that you I could keep.

    If I had known it would be the last time that I would see you walk out the door,
    I would have given you an extra hug and kiss and then called you back for one more.

    If I had known it would be the last time I would see you smile and hear what you had to

      say,
    I would have recorded each action and word, so I could play them back day after day after

      day.

    If I had known it would be the last time, I could spare an extra minute or two,
    I would have stopped what I was doing and spent every single minute with you.

    If I had known it would be the last time I would have to share your day,
    well I just knew we'd have so many more, I would not have let that one slip away.

    If I had only known what was in store for us that day I would not have let you out of my

      sight,

     instead I would have stood by your side to protect you and held back the hands of time

      with all my might.

    If had known what I know now I would have prayed to God and begged for Him to

     change our fate  

    somehow…..

    If I Had Known~Author Unknown, but revised for you and I

BABY BOY

~ by Christine Ross in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001

Baby boy come to me,
Come to me upon the wind.
Baby boy touch my heart,
Touch my heart and soul again.

Fly from where the angels dwell
And fly into my dreams.
Take me back to yesterday
Before the morning gleams.

Let me rock you in my arms
And sing to you a lullaby.
Let me hold you baby boy
Before you say goodbye.

Baby boy come to me,
Come to me upon the wind.
Baby boy touch my heart,
Touch my heart and soul again.

© 2005 - Christine Ross

BABY BOY

My Precious Child

Denice D’Andrea

Talk to me, my precious child
Speak to me in my heart,
Let me hear your kind, sweet voice
Full of love, though we’re apart

Touch my hand, my precious child
Even if just so brief
Let me feel your gentleness
To help me through my grief.

The scent of you, may I enjoy
Just one more time, I plead
To lift my spirit and soothe my soul
Right now, it’s what I need

May I see your smile once more
It brightens up my day
With twinkling eyes and warmest grin
You won’t seem far away

Stay with me, my precious child
In heart and soul and mind
Though you have left this world for now
Please don’t leave me behind

In Memory of Abby’s birthday
June 13, 1978

Denice D’Andrea

......just another child to you, but the whole world to me.

Music I Heard with You

Music I heard with you was more than music,
And bread I broke with you was more than bread;
Now that I am without you, all is desolate;
All that was once so beautiful is dead.
Your hands once touched this table and this silver,
And I have seen your fingers hold this glass,
These things do not remember you, beloved —
And yet your touch upon them will not pass.
For it was in my heart you moved among them,
And blessed them with your hands and with your eyes;
And in my heart they will remember always —
They knew you once, O beautiful and wise.

— Conrad Aiken

Be Still
 
By Claire Moore
 
Be still, my heart, when jeans and sneakers pass by
  me;
  Be still, my tears, which come so easily;
  Be still, my longing to hear his voice and see his
  smile-
  Oh, how I miss his smile.
 
Be still, the memories which race around in my brain
  and ease the pain
  And be still, the pain which is ever there at first
  sharp but now more dull;
  Be still, my sorrow, for he is at peace-So much more
  than I.
 
Be still, my loneliness for him, to touch him again,
  gangling and thin;
  Be still, the wish for others to cry with me as they
  did at first, so 
  I  would know they still miss him as much as I;
 
But life goes on, they say, And so must I
  Be very still, the need to ask, "Why did he have to
  die?"
  Be still, the anger when they say someone else
  wanted him;
  No one could want him more than I.
 
Be still, my heart so you can remember that you
  still have life and 
  love around you, that only one small part is gone.
  Be still, my grieving for that one small part.
 
Yet grieve I must; for the books say I must go
  through it and not 
  around it.
  Be still, the bargains I made and the games I played
  (to have him  back and pretend it was a mistake), as they are
  dangerous and to no avail
 
Be happy, heart, that we had him for awhile,
  Be strong, my pride, That I am slowly healing and
  loving and feeling.
  He died on the first day of summer.
  Summer's heat came and went,
 
 Fall's colors came and went,
  Winter's snow came and went,
  and now spring has come again.
  It seems the world is going on; and so should I.
 
I am lucky to have borne you;
  I am richer for having shared your dreams;
  I am sadder but stronger for having lost you.
  I will always love you.....Good-bye.

I KNOW YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY

.... by Christine Ross in Memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001

I know you don't know what to say
And I know you really try.
It's hard for you to understand
Because your sweet child didn't die.

Please don't say... "It was God's will"
Thinking faith is what I lack.
My child died and I'm still here.
That's just a cold hard fact.

Please don't say... "I know how you feel"
Even though you think you do.
This pain was somehow granted
To only just a few.

Please don't say... "Life's wonderful!"
And expect that mine should be.
There's nothing here within this world
To make my life complete.

Please don't say... "It was meant to be".
I hate that old cliché.
Although I do believe it,
Those words are for me to say.

Please don't say... "You should move on".
Like you did when "someone" died.
You see you just don't understand
The tears a parent cries.

Please don't say... "It's a better place"
Even though I know it's true.
I want back all the yesterdays
Before death captured youth.

Please don't say... "I understand".
Just be thankful you've been spared.
I know you don't know what to say
So simply say..."I care".

© 2004 - Christine Ross
Revised 2008

 

In a quiet country cemetery,
Where the gentle breezes blow,
Lies my son I love so dearly;
He died a while ago.
His resting place I visit,
Placing flowers there with care,
But no one knows my heartache,
When I turn to leave them there.
Though his smile is gone forever,
And his hands I cannot touch,
Still I have so many memories
Of the son I loved so much.
His memory is my keepsake,
With which I will never part.
God has him in His keeping;
I have him in my heart.

~Author Unknown~

"What Was a Child To Do?"

I cannot let it die, I cannot let it go
You did not have to die, you did not have to go
Red fish, blue fish , one fish two
you were a child, what was a child to do?

Do I stay, do I go?
What do I do, I do not know…
Should I run, should I stay –
were those the thoughts you had that day?

Trying to think, but the thinker's too slow –
I see that it’s coming, I’ve nowhere to go!
Red fish, blue fish, one fish two
I’m dead if I don’t, I’m dead if I do –

I’m closing my eyes now, I don’t want to see
whatever’s ahead, whatever will be –
When I open my eyes what will I see?
When I open my eyes where will I be?

Oh Mama, dear Mama do you know?
Oh Son, sweet son, this I know, you are my heart,
I love you so!
Red fish, blue fish, one fish two
You were just a child, what were you to do?

Oh God, dear God please answer my cry...
Why did this child of my heart have to die?

-- Thomas Attig, in The Heart of Grief: Death and the Search for Lasting Love

A virtual quilt for Clint....and my love to keep him warm at night

Looking back at yesterday, the place you used to be

Looking back at yesterday, where you live in memory....

Thank you Anthony Paul's Mom, Natalie

 Thank you Justine, Lance's Mom

Thank you Michael, Angel Ashley's big brother.

BABY BOY

~ by Christine Ross in memory of Lucas Christopher Ross 1979 - 2001

Baby boy come to me,
Come to me upon the wind.
Baby boy touch my heart,
Touch my heart and soul again.

Fly from where the angels dwell
And fly into my dreams.
Take me back to yesterday
Before the morning gleams.

Let me rock you in my arms
And sing to you a lullaby.
Let me hold you baby boy
Before you say goodbye.

Baby boy come to me,
Come to me upon the wind.
Baby boy touch my heart,
Touch my heart and soul again.

© 2005 - Christine Ross

BABY BOY